early morning ramble
it is 430 in the morning and i cant sleep, instead im sitting out on a porch, in full hippie regalia with a cup of percolated coffee, smoking and writing and watching dawn approach. there is a warm comfortable bed inside with an even warmer and more comfortable young man sleeping in it, that yesterday i drove just shy of five hours to be in. but for some reason the pale morning light and singing birds are more compelling at the moment. go figure, eh?
it’s my vacation weekend, i can do what i want, so if my body is rested and my mind is restless i’ll humour them both and sit here typing away. for a change though ive just gotten up, instead of pulling yet another all nighter – neither with work nor booze nor the various other ways i choose to burn the candle at every end.
im wondering if my mind is functional enough to finish the entry i started a week or so ago and gave up on in utter frustration with my own retardation. soy una retardada. it feels fairly limber. quite peaceful really. perhaps, but i think i’ll save that for this afternoon as i wander about.
i always have wished i was a morning person. in my own way i am. i love the early morning, the first light of hte day, watching it ascend. i love being the only one out and about, the quiet and calm and keeping company only with the birds. it’s just the waking up thing that’s holding me back. and maybe the staying up half the night with either insomnia or revelry. i suppose that could be a contributing factor. still i wish i was; dont ask me why, but dawn is so much more pleasurable when you get up for it rather than stay up.
even when im working graveyard and know i have legitimate reasons to still be up, i can never quite shake that ‘oh, shit’ feeling at seeing the sun rise after a long night. i suspect that your mind just has to be in that same ‘just warming up’ frame in order to really fall in with the morning rhythm.
oi, it’s lovely. its not even quite five, but already the sky is a clear blue, rimmed in shell pink along the horizons. i think i’ll go sit back upstairs and read for awhile by the window (dawn is also still quite chilly) and then perhaps make some breakfast for myself and the fella as amends for waking him up abruptly at four am while trying to make my coffee (who knew there was a small amount of oil on the burner and that he has the most ridiculously sensitive and painfully loud smoke detector?)
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