In the criminal justice system…

you know procrastination has officially set in when you start watching back to back law and order. it’s just a fact of life. there are only two possibile diagnoses when this symptom presents itself: severe depression or severe procrastination.  since i don’t feel too apathetic or suicidal, i will presume it’s the later case. though, perhaps, if i manage to keep putting off all that i’m putting off, it may move in that direction when i realise just how terribly fuct i am for not having done the things i need to do.

and boy is there a lot. not faire des courses, running around, pick up the groceries and kids kind of stuff, no immediate daily timeframe. but a long list of little preparatory things, many that require consistant effort over time, as in a little every day, that need to be done before i hop a plane outta this country. things to finish here and things to get ready for there. sumbitch. where to start? that daily yoga? french grammar? eiffel tower and versaille? shit, i still need to go to the louvre! plan my schedule! Tour the siene! find out if i’m really going to get enough financial aid! check out that little jazz bar around the corner! Remember how to consistantly pretend to be intelligent! fuck, where to start?! and writing people and reconnecting and getting things figured out and fixing my cv and looking for a job and will i have any money, and jesus fucking christ i just keep thinking of things and it’s overwhelming and … and… and…

fuck it. this post is officially over. back to law and order.

~ by velvetmonkeywrench on 12 November, 2008.