to the masses
so, since i’m too lazy to do more than copy&paste, here’s the last year of my life and the big changes to come, in a nutshell, as just sent in a long overdue mass email, for all y’all i don’t have an address for, that might be interested… later in the week i’ll try to succintly post just what’s coming up, and other thoughts of random interest, but for the time being, here ya go:
howdy y’all… (click below to read the full disaster)
I was thinking perhaps it’s time to make a small gesture to rectify the fact that i haven’t sent much of substance in, well, honestly the last year really. I think the last thoughtful update of the life and times i can remember I sent just before leaving Marghera over a year ago. a little here and there, i think, a few forwarded bits of useful information, some holiday hellos, but nothing that I recall sitting down and laying it all out. then again, my memory is shiiite. All the same, let’s see if I can’t lay out the last year of my life poste haste and then get to the good stuff to come, cause i’ve got some news for all y’all, if you haven’t heard already.
So, September a year ago I left Italy and came to Paris for a few days to visit a friend before intending to take the last straggling funds I had south to Marseille and then maybe Madrid again. Instead I fell in love with the city, or perhaps i was seduced, spent every last centime I had (and it wasnt much to begin with) and started looking for work. I found an au pair position with a truly great family whom I’ve been living and working with for the last year. I watch 3 girls, who are adorable and sweet little monsters, who have been teaching me french while i taught them english in between all the running around we do. I’m enormously proud of just how much they’ve learned in the last year. I’m a C student compared to these bright little cookies, and not nearly half as cute.
Other major events of the last year include: Christmas in Chauvigny, a small town crowded with medieval castles where the family has a holiday home; various dental issues, including two root canals and a few fillings; a last minute spring trip to the states, where I got to surprise my mom and drink with almost everyone i know and love for two weeks straight (oh the hangover!); a few weeks in Italy again come summer, teaching teens in the Dolomites, and lots and lots of singing; my brother and his then-girlfriend Olivia came to visit in september, and after a trip to the eiffel tower they left here engaged — we drank a lot of champagne and i’m thrilled to have her as a sister; a shiney red bicycle that I enjoyed emensely for a couple months, before getting hit by lady blowing a red light; finally taking a holiday in the end of october, spending my birthday wandering london with my dear kimmy k and getting to drink with Ted from walla who generously loaded us all up with booze, doing nothing special and loving it, then off to santiago de compostella, where i remembered just how much i like spain, savored the long missed pleasure of smoking indoors, and ate octopus and crocodile.
That’s all the major stuff i can think of in a nutshell, there’s some more ramblings here and there for anyone that feels like perusing my blog archives. On personal notes, I’ve made a few interesting friends here, but I’m almost as bad about calling as I am about writing, so I dont know if they’ll miss me much when i’m gone, but they’ve been fun when i do see them. As to love and lovers and whatnot, well, though I’m tempted to brag about the interesting additions to the harem, y’all’ll just have to speculate on that one, as I’m not up for naming any names at the moment. But there’ve been some good times on that front as well.
In the end, Paris has treated me well. I came here with nothing, I found a foothold and I’ve been carving a niche for myself in her dense interior. Henry IV famously once said that ‘Paris is worth a mass,’ and I’ve got to say, he was right. not that I’m converting to catholicism or any other organized religion anytime soon, but this is truly an amazing city, well worth the sacrifices made for the privilege of living here. Even when my inner issues rage, when i can’t stand the constant noise and chaos, the hard water and air pollution, nor bear the thought of leaving the house, I always love living here.
I have an apartment that I clean, for my second job, that has an incredible view of the city. I have to climb six long flights of stone stairs up by sacre couer, then another winding four inside the building, to get up there, and once i’m there it’s a small apartment that is typically only worth maybe 30€ worth of work. it’s a pain in the ass, and I have to climb those stairs again to do the laundry and whatnot while there. While i’m sure this kind of exercise is good counter-balance to the large quantities of bread and croissants that i eat, this is not why I volunteer for the hassle of working there. It is because when I get up there, huffing for air, I grab a glass of water to ease the dry gasps and sit in the little balcony to smoke a cigarette and relax. And looking out, I see all that is Paris, stretching out before me, the low sprawling roofs and monumental arches and grand stone churches, the eiffel tower just right of center and montparnasse off to the left. It is an incredible view, especially at twilight. But high altitude views of cities are not breath-taking for their beauty. it’s a bunch of roofs and chimneys and cluster and chaos. No, not the most aesthetically pleasing. instead, the sights steal your soul with philosophy and introspection, finding your place in the midst of a swarming anthill. and everytime i look out over her i smile to myself and think, ‘I live in Paris. Wow.’ and I wonder at all that is here and at how i could stand to live without her.
But that is just exactly what I will be doing. I’m giving up my ancient stone seductress, for the wet, green and gray, sprawling yet smaller masses of Seattle. Seattle’s a great city, vibrant and sparkling in her rainy tiara like the emerald city she’s called, but hardly a fair trade.
The day before I took my train to London for my little holiday, I found out: I’ve been accepted to the UW. The vague plans of productivity that have been simmering in my mind for the last year have finally come to full boil — I’m going back to school to finally finish what I started years ago. Yesterday, after two weeks dilly-dallying, we bought the ticket. 22 December. the reality sinks further in: I’m returning to the new old country. In less than six weeks, just a few days before christmas, I will touch down at sea-tac (my most hated of pain-in-the-ass-airports) and I will not be leaving again in two weeks, nor even two months, but instead two years. Though at first it’s just six months actually, since I’ll be coming back to Europe for a bit next summer, but it’ll only be a working holiday then back to Seattle, to studies and all things serious.
And I’m scared to death. Thrilled, excited, incredulous, but scared. It has been about 10 years since I’ve really been a student, since I’ve had to be serious, and I don’t know if i remember how, nor if the years have been so kind to my scattered mind. And though I’ve only been here just over two years, I don’t know how i feel about leaving europe, leaving foreign lands that i’ve become accustomed to traversing at will, for the comfort of a place where everyone speaks english and for the most part I actually know what’s going on most of hte time. I don’t know how i feel about leaving the adventure behind, putting it on hold, while i participate in what’s called the real world. Coming to europe, stretching my wings further around the globe, little by little, has been to the growth and satisfaction of my soul, which still yearns for so much more. But. But. But. my mind needs a stimulus package, my c.v. needs some more solid credentials, and sooner or later i’ve got to grow up just a little more, ‘get a haircut and get a real job.’ this is the first, long procrastinated step. I have grown a lot here, expanding my heart and mind and perspective in ways that would have been impossible had i stayed in one place, but there are other horizons i need to explore, no matter how daunting they seem, before i can keep on truckin.
so, seattle, here I come.
Besides, even I must admit, this does look to be a most auspicious and interesting time to be back in the states.
so in closing:
to those washingtonians on my lists, particularly the seattlites and walla wallans, see you soon and hopefully you’ll forgive my long bouts of non-communication enough to go grab a beer…
and to all my family and friends, sprawled across the pacific northwest and beyond, I hope to find time to visit soon in between studies and whatnot… I know we often keep in loose touch, but I’m thankful for all of you and keep you in my heart…
to those abroad, I’ll miss y’all, the proximity of a budget flight or overnight train between, and now you’ve got just under six weeks if you want to come see me in paris before i hit the road ;) but don’t worry, I’ll be back.
cross my heart and pinky swear ;)
cin cin to the adventures to come!
bisous,
ebbie
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