wanna feel yo’ body, next to mine

for the first month or two here, at night i could feel his body in its absence. my body could feel in the blanks, remembered just where his shoulder should be under my head, his arm curled around my side, how we curled together just so. a soft voice whispering sweetly in my ear from thousands of miles away and i’d drift to sleep in his embrace.

after a while, the visceral feeling faded, from forgetfulness perhaps, or necessity. i’d still walk down streets imagining the things he’d enjoy here, what i’d love to show and share, how nice to have his company, longing to hold his hand while wandering along, feel his heat next to mine on cold nights. but the urgency of it dulled over time, superimposed with day to day worries, time drawn long, attention span drawn short. his face in my mind, but the sense of his touch not so vividly present.

but lately, as the months pass and mere weeks, days, remain… twenty to be precise, until i step off a plane at charles de gualle and search for his face in the crowd… as time draws short, the last six months seem like a flash compared to the three weeks ahead, three weeks stretching out with the same unbelievable length six months once held… but as i can feel time draw short, the anticipation builds, i stare off mid sentence, no matter how pressing the thesis i’m working on, walk with purpose and a dreamy distant smile… he is as distracting as a sunny day…

and at night i can feel his body next to mine again… soon.

~ by velvetmonkeywrench on 28 May, 2009.