doh

there is a smell wafting up from an apartment below – vanilla, apples, cinnamon, spice – and the sounds of someone putting their all into a late spring cleaning. at first it was pleasant, the smell, but it becomes more sickeningly sweet as it saturates the air in every nook and cranny of the house.

and someone, some mysterious stranger, lest i get my hopes up, has been perusing my blog like it’s about to go off air. damn stats show exponential hits, in jagged climbing spikes, without a clue as to who-what-when-where-why… and my imagination, in it’s vulnerable state, plays tricks on me, lost in hope, desire and speculation. curiousity done killed the cat.

all that aside… santiago – i’m in santiago de compostela now, a shock, i’m sure, as i’ve been so regular in updating this thing the last year… – santiago has sent me back into the infinite depths of existential crisis, as once again i find i doubt all my plans, aspirations, relations… all in all, pretty much every damn thing i thought i’d figured out, resolved, or otherwise put behind me. ghosts haunt me, and what i thought was sure seems shaky at best. as usual, i find i feel i’ve made all the wrong decisions, want all the things i cant have and none that i do…

but what’s new? meh.

~ by velvetmonkeywrench on 31 August, 2009.