fell in love with a boy
for just a minute, i fell in love with a boy. fell like a rock. or rather, i climbed one. let myself let go, fall, enjoy, walk away, a lingering smile on my lips. a scampering monkey, fearless a moment, without expectation, puzzling, laughing, doing, trying, falling, fearless. reminders of what can be, gifts of time spent. something intense, intent, momentary, maybe more, maybe less. something lovely. and walked away with that lingering smile, wondering if i’ll ever see him again. hoping so while letting go. and either way, it’s ok. moments in time, flowing right along, taking me to the places i need to be, taking their time being whowhatwhenwherehow they need to be. and so it goes. he gave me a moment. and a lingering smile. let go.
be open to what comes.
floating down the road, “flows like a river… pulls me around every bend,” every next curve a new surprise, wondering what’s next, enjoying what’s now. and i fell in love with another boy. it’s looking for more than a minute. a younger fella. a companion. and this little man, he’s changing my life. or perhaps he’s a reflection of the changes and choices i’m making. choosing to be open to what comes, choosing to follow the winding road, new paths, to let go, to watch it unfold, to let myself love and be loved, to stay awhile, to grow a little, to make commitments, to roll with it, to neither expect something nor expect nothing, simply to not expect, to see where it goes, to decide with intentionality whowhatwherewhenhow to roll, to live and breath and stride without fear, ready for anything as i shift within my existence. grasshopper meets ant. or rather, girl meets puppy. we can roll with it, playfully yet thoughtfully.
be open to what comes, with deliberate choice.
it’s been a month of lessons in love.
with myself, with others, with life.
walking fine lines and finding balance. relearning and remembering.
jump! run downhill! sing, dance, be silly! utilize the imperative! catalyze things!
it’s been a month of hope and love.
serendipity. happenstance. interaction. reflection. acceptance. intentionality. details. it’s all in the details. I’ve been reconnecting with the universe, finding lost faith, remembering to be joyous. and so i remind myself: hold onto these lessons in life and love and positivity. though i may often walk alone, it is not lonely, these connections are out there, each waiting to be enjoyed and appreciated for their moment, however long. give, receive, enjoy. in its myriad forms. be open to love.
life is changing, it’s positive and powerful and full of potentiality. i am becoming. finding the middle in the swing, i look forward to the next bend, to jumping in and seeing whowhatwherewhenhow comes. it feels like good things. keeping in mind good advice given me as a child: live. love. laugh.
i fell in love with a boy. i fell in love with myself. i fell in love with life.
and ya know what? it’s fucking wonderful.
(and yes, aunt rene, and other straightforward folk, i’m sure it’s all a little esoteric and cryptic and tangental and whatnot, but hey, i’m sure you at least got out of all that that i’ve got a new puppy and a lust for life ;) (love y’all)
(oh yes, and remember, choices come with consequence. exempli gratia: poo.)
